Shadow in the Rose Garden

ill make a new one

new invite sent

Do you feel pretty confident that you got sick because of the Vyvanse? I can't tell you how bad I wish I could poke you around and figure out what the root of the issue is. You know how curious I am though I'm sure you get it.

Also you said you get your nails from Michael's right? Are they a brand that's blowing up on TikTok? I got interested after you told me but it looked like everything was sold out 

You know I kept thinking about Michael's and what kind of store it is when I was writing that and I was like "it really just... I don't think it fits" but I could not for the life of me remember the existence of Marshall's so I let it rip and lmao you really could have milked that error but I tip m'fedora for the grace and class you displayed by opting for a sharp and quick correction instead.

I would have utterly eviscerated you for such a mistake though lol fucking Michaels, the craft store gtfo

And no! I've never heard of that so I just looked it up and holy shit it's actually so gay

And I was mostly joking about Talons, but it's giving beardbrand and that thought provokes such dizzyingly intense nausea that it makes me wish I could get a lobotomy. 

Pretending that isn't real so that I might give a more conversational response, the brand seems like, Dude Wipes coded. Right? Which is soooooo gay. Like what's gayer than a man who likes or wants something but won't admit it unless other men market it to him with the promise that it passes the manliness check and is safely rebellious within the broader scope of what other men define as the acceptable parameters of what it means to be a man? And don't say men who are attracted to men because that's actually less gay

Now if their whole thing was just that they make larger press-ons because men have larger hands, they would have had me with something like "Big Bitch Nails" still marketed like every other nail just bigger. I like some of the colors but I'm also like? Yeah you made them very wide but are these even long enough to cover my natural nail? Do these only come in size chode?

💀 I genuinely didn't know anything about the Superbowl and I keep forgetting it's happening but it's pretty fucking cool that Bad Bunny's getting the show! I feel like they've mostly been so lackluster as far as I can remember. And yeah that sounds exactly like what I would normally expect from him based off of every other story you've told me about the guy lol 

And I agree on hygiene, it wasn't a perfect analogy but it was in the ballpark 

AND if we're gonna fight about anything it'll be about you saying "it's not that deep" cause that shit is the lamest most anti-intellectual copout ever. Bro it's okay to think about things. It's even good to think about things! Pick them apart, get interested in them. They don't have to be existential warheads of conversation, you can get into it about anything because *life and all of its aspects are fucking interesting*. "It's not that deep" is the battlecry of those who lack their own depth and complexity and I know for a fact you aren't as shallow-minded as you like to pretend to be. I know there's safety in refusing to delve and calling those who do "overthinkers", but there are riches to be found that actually add value to life when you dare to explore. 

It's not that deep 🙄 that phrase just cheats you out of opportunities to explore a deeper life. Forget that combination of words bro. Maybe it is that deep. Maybe everything is actually infinitely deep and you're just afraid of finding out that nothing is as shallow as you pretend.

Also why are you feeling fighty lol how did your night go

You have a few different fighting moods and I took last night's to be one of the good ones, I have fun trying to match you when I get it right and don't have much to lose when I get it wrong lol

It's not exactly the same, but there's a people in the Wheel of Time series that inflict a degree of culture shock on characters coming into their way of life from far outside. The women tend to have fierce, hot tempers that they use to dissuade weak men from engaging them. Like if a wife is yelling at her husband and he doesn't fire back at her, that's a sign that he doesn't respect her enough to consider her thoughts on the matter to be important, and a sign that he thinks she's too weak to take the heat of a passionate argument. Just a good old couple's quarrel here and there to sort things about. The occasional rousing row of mutual respect and understanding. Not a bad thing between people who understand each other, just an unusual thing.

I was probably going to start a fight anyway because I was feeling particularly cheeky when I tried to set up that bit I mentioned earlier. I was asking if you were excited... to be ovulating on Valentine's Day. And I had a witty line in the pipe ready to follow up, something about you making a great single mother 😌

ALSO I'm so sorry that your brand new $1000 flagship iPhone is inconveniencing you :c it probably just wants you to tell it to let the AI take over instead of you doing everything manually