Re: Update

jonathan breaux

Good afternoon!

I trust you are doing well, thank you humbly for taking this correspondence! I am reaching out to inquire as to your level of interest in taking a very quick journey off-planet this Friday at 9 pm. The duration of the vacation will only be a couple hours but is projected to provide roughly 700% ROI, and the destination is none other than the illustrious and intergalactically renown Concourse Project, right here at home in Austin, Texas.

Should you choose to accept my second ticket for this thrill of a show (for which I am excited and genuinely think you would love), kindly return this email with your RMNP.

If you are tentatively interested but have questions, concerns, or conditions (such as, can I buy tickets for you to bring friends? Can we take separate rides? Can I promise to be cool and still be fun if you choose not to speak to me mid-set?), then I am more than happy to accommodate, and I have the utmost confidence that we can negotiate an agreement which you will find comfortable, safe, and also exciting.

The offer is made in good faith and with no ulterior motives or expectations for continued contact after the conclusion of the event. Should you choose to decline, I will lament the lost opportunity to share this adventure with you, but I shall bear you no ill will nor hard feelings for your decision to not ball out with an old friend.

Should I not hear back from you by the dawn of the 'morrow morn', I will understand your silence to mean a respectful and regretful declination.

But I hope you’ll go!

Either way, thank you kindly for your time.

Sincerest and warmest YOLOs,

Jonathan

Marysue Curtis

Jonathan,

I will have to politely decline your offer. I am not ready for even a phone call so definitely not ready not an in person friendly rendezvous. I hope you have the best time though.

PS: Mighty Nein and Vox Machina new season. So exciting!

PSS: I will also be declining your invitation to couples therapy. I’m not sure what would make you think that we were in a place where I would consider that. Those actions make me feel disrespected when I’ve already expressed my boundaries to you MANY TIMES and you continue to disregard them.

PSSS: Please remind me how much you are wanting for the truck. I am still happy to purchase it if you would still like to sell it.

I dont think I need to tell you this but it would make me more comfortable to do so I just want l remind you to please spend your money responsibility. It doesn’t make me feel good when you spend your money on something I haven’t agreed to do.

I don’t need an explanation to any of the above (besides a response on the truck stuff) if that is what you feel you might be inclined to do. In fact I appreciate the light hearted tone of your email so I hope if you decide to respond, it reflects that. I know mine was a little more blunt in response but frankly I was ready to write a slightly lighter email before I received the couple’s therapy notification. Please consider my boundaries/ wishes. I will not be repeating myself again.

PSSSS: Yes, I know that’s not how PS’s work

jonathan breaux

Ah! Old friend, I apologize for the format of the couple's therapy email. I don't understand what boundaries you are talking about with though because I'm not sure how the email was worded - I haven't seen it yet. But the invitation was supposed to be sent to both of us automatically when I was matched with a therapist especially qualified for the sake of facilitating a professionally mediated discussion so that we could tie up loose ends in a way that is healthy and safe for both of us. They aren't expecting to help us get back together, they're expecting to help us go our separate ways kindly. I didn't mean to insult you or approach any boundaries, I just think we both deserve a much gentler paths to healing than the ones we're currently on, don't you agree?

I promise, for what it's worth to you, that even though I would love to know how to and be able to mend things with you, even just to the point of being a peripheral acquaintance, I do understand from your actions that you are not interested in such an outcome. I regretfully but respectfully concede this to you, though I hope you will do me the kindness of telling me how that happened, when you are ready.

I do not despair, for life is too short to not enjoy every moment in which enjoyment is a possibility. And I have had my fill of pain. I do not hold your short tone against you. I understand where you are coming from.

If you are talking about other boundaries, or if you think I have the wrong idea, I am kindly and humbly receptive to your peaceful reminder. You will forgive me, of course, the actual smoothness of my brain. I... literally don't know what's going on. (Please tell me but it's okay if you don't I still think I've kind of got the point)

Alas, Misunderstandings may be the title of the final chapter in our book. It was a tragically fun read.

Thank you for sending your polite RSVP, thought not to fret! While you were my first choice, I bought the ticket knowing that I would have a friend along regardless of your answer.

PS: I'm excited but I don't have prime anymore so I hope you'll tell me how great it was when you've seen it 😭

PSS: I don't know how you read this message, but since there's been a lot a lot of misreadings and miunderstandings between us for so long now, I promise I wrote this with lightness and fondness for a human of whom I know the true definition. It is truly good to be at the receiving end of a direct communication from you, my dear friend.

PSSS: here kitty kitty

My most gracious thanks, and warmest well wishes,

Jonathan

jonathan breaux

Good morning!

It's a beautiful day so far, I just wanted to add/clarify a couple things on this last message I sent before you reply (I know I talk a lot but there's nothing negative here don't worry!) :

But read the original email first! I don't know what this will look like in your inbox. To be clear this is email 2 of 2 that I sent since your last reply and email 3 of 3 I have sent overall. Good, yes, thank you. I won't send more until you reply, I promise!

1. I made assumptions in the last letter about what your wishes are based on my perspective of your actions, but I think that's the sort of thing that got us here in the first place, so I politely but solemnly request that you do express your explicit wishes/boundaries/goals/ideal immediate and long term outcomes of our interaction/avoidance - to me, at your soonest convenience. And I apologize again for stepping on any boundaries that seem clear from your point of view but are obscured from mine, I am genuinely trying my best with what I have to work with.

2. I think the boundary you are referring to is your not being open to discussions related to us getting back together? I'm sorry for the confusion and I hope you'll reconsider the mediated separation counseling (couple's counseling is just the umbrella term under which divorce mediators also operate) now that I've clarified that it isn't going to be an opportunity for us to heal our relationship, just one to heal our separate futures. Because you absolutely deserve a safe and healthy separation, and maybe that's possible for you by following the path you've already chosen, but it isn't possible for me, especially with my history of abandonment issues etc., and we both have a better shot with mutual professional guidance than without. I cannot compel you, but I hope that you will at least be open to a discussion on whether or not to go through with it before doubling down on a hard no without looking into it. It will be good for both of us, and I truly can't imagine that you're unwilling to consider something that might let us part as friends instead of whatever this is. Kindly, let me know your thoughts and whether or not I am welcome to respectfully respond.

C. I think you were talking about me buying the therapy instead of the ticket. In which case, I'm paying for it with my HSA and I'm pretty sure it's getting reimbursed through work but even if it isn't, the divorce counselor is prepared to help me navigate some things alone before transitioning to a solo therapist anyway. So I was buying it whether you were coming or not, I'm not trying to pressure you with guilt or spent money. I'm just trying to shine a light on a path in front of you that allows yourself and someone you once loved very much to both have a fair chance at being happy and at peace and healthy and safe. It is your choice which to take, as always. I know it isn't as easy to choose the path that benefits us both as it is to run down the path your on, but I think we both deserve the weight it will lift from us.

D. October is also going to be a very tough month for me, but I'm done crashing out. (And my last one you perceived wasn't what it seemed but I'll tell you about it only if you ask lol) I will of course have ups and downs and be sad for the more sentimental nights, but I won't be losing my mind or begging for your attention. That arc has closed.

So, in a better world, we go to this divorce counselor, tie up our loose ends, and part as, maybe old friends. Halloween is on a Friday so I know you'll be with friends of your own all weekend, but I would love to be in a place by then where we could at least send each other a friendly text to send well wishes for Blessed Samhain. In my perfect world, we could even share a beer and a friendly hug before going to our separate circles for the celebrations. I think it's possible, but only if it's a world you would like to live in too. Does that sound like a good place? Even if you can't imagine a path to get there right now? Or does that sound like a world that is less good than this one?

PS I would love to see me daughters from time to time. I'll agree to not respond when you send pictures if you want to do something like that but they're still my loves, I'm still their real dad. Plus, when you're ready to see each other, I'll give you all the Furbos and you can change the email and password on the account so that you can use those without having to trust me. I will miss having that, it felt like it kept both of us connected with all the kids while staying separated from each other

4. I need to know how many miles are on the truck and exactly where any damage is, interior/exterior wheels tires, has the oil been changed, are the headlights foggy, do you still have both keys, where are and how big are the dings dents scratches chips etc. so that I can write up the paperwork.

Okay that's all! Back to work for me I hope you have a beautiful day and I look forward to your kind and gentle reply at your convenience!

I still believe in you. Best of luck. Talk soon 🎶

Jonathan

Marysue Curtis

Hey,

I’ll follow up with a more thought out email tomorrow but I just wanted to quickly respond so this didn’t sit on delivered.

Thanks for your response. I understood the vibe with the first one but the second one was appreciated as well. I’ll report back on the truck with more information but no new damages, new oil and I need to get a tire check out cause that back one that was being weird has been giving me issues again.

I’ll also report back on the mediation stuff. I need to talk it over with my therapist. My general feelings are not hostile though. I feel reassured when you’re not crashing out.

Have a great rest of your day!

😊J

jonathan breaux

Hello,

I really appreciate that update! Thank you for all the info, it makes me happy to know/understand things, and I especially appreciate being given realistic expectations for timelines.

So, no hurry no worry. If you can get back to me sometime this weekend, excellent. If not, I know you'll get back to me when you can.

I also wanted to show you exactly what I meant about what I requested through that app so you can be confident I'm not trying anything sneaky, please find the screencap attached below.

I am, however, not highly confident the match that I received would be a great one anyway, so I might request a new one. You can of course wait to accept/decline until after you've spoken to your therapist, so please excuse the automated message if another one comes through with the next match - there's no pressure or urgency behind it.

When you do speak to your therapist, I would like to make myself available for them to reach out to me, either for a consultation to get to know me and my recent history as an individual or to host the mediated discussions herself (I assume they're a her). I would of course pay for either of those options out of pocket or with insurance since I'm at my out of pocket maximum for the year. And as always, I will oblige any reasonable conditions you have for governing that experience (like what anybody would agree is reasonable).

(My thinking is maybe she would say that yes, a mediated discussion would be a good idea, if she was able to vet that I'm genuinely capable of committing to a safe and healthy environment beforehand)

As always, thank you for reading too many words that I probably could have trimmed down a bit.

It's a beautiful day! I hope you're doing well and I look forward to hearing from you when you come around. Cheers~

Jonathan

Oh and while I was pulling up that picture I saw this one I took yesterday morning I think and I hope it's not overstepping to share it, it just made me giggle and I thought you might appreciate it idk

👋🎶

Marysue Curtis

Hello,

I wanted to respond to the bit around boundaries. Yes, I would not like you to make efforts with the goal of us getting back together. That’s a strict boundary. I was also referring to us going no contact. The point of my boundaries so far has been to give myself the space I need to process everything that’s happened/ been happening and to (hopefully) feel respected by the person I’m setting them with.

I feel like you understand what my boundaries are in terms of no contact but just in case, I would ask that you refrain from calling me / trying to contact me without my consent. I would appreciate if you also stopped texting my mother. She’s a really nervous person and she’s been really anxious/ stressed about it and when she’s anxious it makes me anxious.

I understand that those things were part of your crash out and you are done crashing out so I don’t expect any of that to happen again.

When we do communicate, im willing to accept respect, kindness, lightheartedness, etc.

I am not willing to accept disrespect, negative tone, long texts, emotional attacks, etc

In the spirit of setting expectations, I speak to my therapist on Tuesday so I won’t be able to give you an answer by the weekend.

Ps: No pressure but do you have an idea of when you will be collecting Kuma?

Pss: I don’t get the photo of the Eastsid Estation ?

Psss:

jonathan breaux

Good morning,

I hope you're having a good day! Thank you for the quick response about boundaries. The foremost one about not trying to get us back together is easy and clear, and one I'm in no danger of accidentally crossing.

You do draw very delicate lines though, and that's where I really hope you will agree to allow us to discuss those lines under mutual professional guidance. No-contact is an understandable framework that can be a healthy way to handle certain situations. But it can also be implemented in a way that causes serious harm, even when unintentional. I'm going to include my point of view in the next paragraph if you want context, but I do so gently, without any blame or anger or attack of any degree. Still, let me know if you decide to skip it.

Please kindly understand that from my perspective, you answered my minimal calls with compassion and gentle friendly love in your voice, you picked out clothes and books (about my two favorite things!) for a care package for me, and then you were just gone without warning or explanation. Then I received a battery of scary information about how you were telling people I abused you, that your friends and Blakely were convincing you to file a restraining order, that you demanded that I give up hope for any possibility of ever reconciling to any degree at all. Blakely and Sloane dropped me. My family used the new leverage to abuse me. It was a horrific experience with a lot of details left out, and I handled it better for most of two months than I think I've gotten credit for.

But the whole point of all that is that I don't believe we have to play a zero sum game. There are choices we can both make, actions we can both take that allow us to heal and fare well. And I will respect all of your boundaries, completely, as they currently stand (I hope you don't count wordy emails as the long texts thing I'm a very verbose person you know I'm a rambler but I'm not ranting so I think this is fine for now right) but I would appreciate it immensely if you would re-establish your boundaries with me at your convenience in the presence of a professional therapist/counselor so that our desires to protect ourselves don't end up hurting ourselves or each other. Does that make sense?

And your mother has offered me kindness and advice and support that I've never had from family. Talking to her wasn't part of me crashing out, and it's something that I hope to continue doing. But I will hold off at your request until we can, if you agree to do so, talk about boundaries under the mutual guidance of a professional who understands how to implement them without causing harm.

I think these exchanges are a promising start to separate futures where we both bear much softer scars, and I really appreciate you for allowing them.

I'll be here, old friend.

Hope you have a great weekend 🎶

Marysue Curtis

I am considering the mediation option and I see where you are coming from.

In response to your second paragraph, I never told my friends you were abusive. I leaned on a very select few for support and by seeing your messages (and the state I was in the weeks leading up and for the months that followed) they came to that conclusion on their own. Regardless, they didn’t influence my decision. Before the incident the messages you were sending, especially the disrespectful ones were bordering on harassment. I don’t want an apology and I don’t want an explanation. It is what it is.

We can get more into it at a later time. The gist is that multiple caseworkers and Sloan reached out to me to check on me and let me know this was a potentially dangerous situation. They were the ones that advised no contact and even a restraining order. The thought of a restraining felt too far and was stressing me out so despite their recommendations, I decided not to go through with it. I did agree no contact was necessary and from what I was told, you understood. They seemed very concerned and mentioned that this kind of behavior was abusive/ obsessive. I felt like if multiple professionals were telling me this was abusive and required me to go no contact than I would be an idiot to ignore them.

I will say, I also was so devastated, traumatized, and beyond broken and no contact really was the only way I was able to process it. I agreed that talking to you would not be good for my already non existent mental health.

I understand how horrible it must have been on your end and I’m not saying this to minimize that. Just to prove some insight on what was going on on my end.

Blakely never pressured me to submit a protective order (in fact she helped talk me though the stress of feeling pressured to do so) but she did agree with Sloan that no contact what necessary. I’m very sorry she dropped you, I know your relationship with her was important to you. I hope you are able to resume in the future.

I know this is a heavy topic and I’m opening a door for heavier discourse but I will ask that you continue to keep it light and short (no, a longer email doesn’t count as long texts you are correct that I am referring to the vents)

We can get into it at a later time but I want to stress that I will not be able to handle anything too emotional from your end and I really don’t want to hear you justify your actions. I am still really fragile and I’m just starting to get color back into my face so I really don’t want to take any steps back.

Oh also, your family never said anything to me that swayed my decision in any way and while I’m not sure what went down between you both, you should know that they helped me SOOO MUCH after what happened and I am so beyond grateful. The only reason why I was able to pick out books for you was because your sister called every single hospital.

I would have not been able to stomach taking you that stuff myself and I definitely would have not been able to return to your apartment.

I hope I don’t regret opening up about this. Here is a photo of Loba.

jonathan breaux

Hi Marysue!

Opening up about all of that must feel like picking up a weight that has potential to fall on your foot, so I wanted to whip up a quick reply to let you know that there is nothing heavy or emotional lurking in the silence. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. From what I know of how difficult it is for you to do that, I do not take it for granted that you offered me this information and trusted me not to do with it something that, historically, I have almost always done.

I do understand and actually appreciate the caseworkers who were looking out for you, and I understand that acting quickly and seriously saves lives in situations that seem similar to this one, situations that they are familiar with from their own perspectives. I'm sorry that your safety cost so much, but people can only work with what they have, when they have it, and I'm glad they chose to try to protect you at any cost.

I appreciate that insight. I gained insight from my own case workers that I hope to share with you at some point in the future, where we can, as you said, get more into it. In an emotionally and psychologically safe environment for both of us.

I hope this wasn't too emotional, I just wanted to thank you, sincerely, for taking a chance on trusting me with that open door. And to let you know that I have no desire to defend myself or explain anything or make things more difficult for you. Thank you for inviting me in. I will close that door gently on my way out. My heart stays with you, old friend. I will be here for you at the distance you feel safest and no closer.

I do think that about wraps up the big key points of the heaviest things that we'll be able to get into for now though, do you agree? If so, do I still get to send you light, polite, non-invasive emails?? I can promise not to send more than... two in a row. Because sometimes I forget things. But I won't get carried away, and otherwise I'll only reply when you reply.

I also understand if, having wrapped up this particular topic as neatly as we can for the time being, you would like to return to not hearing from me until further notice.

Either way, it seems to be a beautiful day outside, and my heart is filled just hearing from you and knowing you're out there. But even though I am being genuine in my lightness, don't think that I'm not also mad as hell, cause I loved this place.

But I'm not mad at you.

I hope you have a really great weekend, I look forward to hearing from you. Go do something fun with people who make you happy, let some of that burden rest while you enjoy as much lightness as you can.

I will be here :)

Cheers~

PS. Thank you for the pictures 😭 my heart 😭

😊J😊M

Marysue Curtis

Hey, I wanted to let you know I just went down to NB to pick up my contacts lenses cause I was completely out and saw Kuma for a bit. He was fighting a lot with Bear so I thought I would bring him back to be at the apartment with me while his tail recovers. I hope that’s cool with you.

If it’s not, please let me know.

Like asap

jonathan breaux

Oh, okay! It's okay. I appreciate you letting me know because I was considering trying to go get him tonight or tomorrow and was really dreading being in NB. Keep him as long as you want to but I think I can have Corbin collect him from you when you and/or the girls are tired of playtime, no worries. Let me know if you need anything in the meantime!

Cheers~

Marysue Curtis

Okay, I’ll let you know if that ends up being necessary but it’s unlikely as I have to take him back to NB sometime next week so your mom can take him back to the vet for his remove stitches appointment.

🙇J

Marysue Curtis

Have you moved anything around with the internet today?

❓J

jonathan breaux

? I don't know what that means?

jonathan breaux

Hey I just checked my main Google account and it says I'm signed into a Nexus 5, is that you?

Marysue Curtis

No I don’t think so. My wifi wasn’t been working all day and spectrum and Att say I don’t have a service with them

jonathan breaux

Oh, weird. Uhhh no I can't think of anything I could have done that would affect that even accidentally. Wish I could help! Maybe ask your neighbors if theirs is working? Check cables, do resets, use the passwords on the stickers after resetting, look for temporary setup networks during resetting process... That's about all I got. Good luck 🤞

Cheers~

Marysue Curtis

Good morning, I’m going to use the furbo today. I can’t get it linked to a new account and I have to step away from the apartment and I don’t feel comfortable doing that without being able to make sure Kuma is okay. I’m uncomfortable with it but I think it would be best for Kumas safety.

Im going against what I’ve been recommended by my therapist so IM TRUSTING YOU that all this communication won’t cause you to regress in your progress. I’m genuinely scared this will end up negatively affecting the situation but I appreciate you respecting my boundaries so far which is what has allowed for me to even consider the furbo as an option at all.

The furbo will be on today and possibly tomorrow depending on Kumas condition.

Thankyou!

jonathan breaux

Hello🎵

It's a beautiful day, I hope you're able to enjoy it! I've deleted the app and I'm not going to reinstall, so I hope that gives you some peace of mind. I would love to keep tabs on my boy, but you're more than capable of that yourself so I am returning your trust with trust. He couldn't be in better hands, and I have no reason or desire to repay you with exploitation. Thank you for caring so much 🙇‍♂️

Real quick though if you see a message from Adobe come through in the next few minutes please communicate that with me so I can get into the account and cancel it because it's expensive and neither of us use it 🙏

Also gentle reminder to hit me with the truck mileage whenever you can!

Cheers~

Marysue Curtis

Will you not need the furbo when you get Kuma back?

jonathan breaux

Maybe someday down the road depending on how things go, but he's been really good at my apartment so far so my current plan is to give all the cameras to you and help you change the email or password on the account when you're ready so that you can take advantage of the - I think there's almost two years left - of the nanny pro subscription and then I'll likely cancel it after that so you can make your own account without wasting what's already been paid for.

So, nope! All you. I can't make you believe me, but I promise it's the truth. The app is not on my phone and I am not going to download it or try to access the account in any way without communicating very clearly about it with you beforehand.

I hope you're able to set your worries down for a bit. It's still hot but the leaves are just starting to turn colors, there's lots of beauty out there in the details if you're not too preoccupied with stress to see them. I'm chilling so if you're stressing about me I can put a camera up for you to keep tabs on me if you want lol but I'm just going to be in panda mode today.

And adobe let me in without 2-factor so don't worry about that either, the day is all yours ☺️

Go have fun! Lemme alone get out of here, go on, get!

🫰

jonathan breaux

Also, I apologize if my tone is *too* light-hearted, I realize that might also make you nervous. I'm not manic or anything, I've just got the Sunday Scaries and am trying to fight them off with positivity 😩

Good luck today, I hope it's a good one! Let me know if you need anything 🎶

👍J👍M

Marysue Curtis

Thanks for that clarification!!!

Update on Kuma, I had to drive to Bulverde yesterday to the vet and it turned out he ripped two of his stitches. I had a feeling something was wrong but the vet insisted it was normal then he probably got tired of talking to me on the phone and told me to come in. His wound leaked on every corner of my apartment and he looked to be in so much pain.

They restitched him and now his new appointment to get them removed is next Thursday the 25th. It would be nice if you made some arrangements to take him so I don’t have to drive back. I took yesterday off and asked to work from home the rest of the week but I won’t be able to do it again next week so I’m tapping you in. Hopefully by then he won’t be as needy.

He needs around the clock attention. I can’t put him on the ground without him scooting and I’m scared he will rip another stitch so I just carry him around everywhere.

I can take care of him the rest of this week, when can you pick him up from NB? I know you suggested Corbin but I guarantee Corbin will not be able to handle him. He’s extremely frantic in any situation that isn’t laying on top of me on the couch.

Ps: Please be nice to your mother. *threat* This has been as stressful for her as it’s been for me and she’s offered a lot of support to me and Kuma. For the record she never says anything bad about you to me if that’s what you’re thinking.

jonathan breaux

Thank you for thanking me, I try my best but I'm not a good translator of my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you for understanding.

And oh no, I'm so sorry! I can compensate you for cleaning and gas, I know I don't need to thank you because you didn't do it for me but I really appreciate that he still has you too. My poor baby boy :( I was missing him really really bad yesterday. Maybe I can arrange to get his stitches taken out here in town so he doesn't have to go back to New Braunfels/Bulverde at all. I don't even know where Bulverde is.

And Corbin would only have to handle him from the time it takes to get from your place to like, the road outside your place or wherever is a comfortable enough distance from you for the handoff to take place.

He can take trazodone every day to calm his nerves, if you need a refill I can find somebody willing to drop it off for you today or I could leave it outside your door, whatever you're most comfortable with.

I can take him whatever day this weekend works best for you, if you change your mind about letting Corbin or one of your other friends facilitate a no-contact handoff.

And I am very nice to my mother, believe me. She's always been kind and good to people "outside" of the family, but you really don't know what things have been like with them. Sarah has been immensely worse, but my mother has been awful to me. And their interactions with you, good or bad or natural, are a separate matter. The uncertainty of that part stresses me out, but that's just the nature of things, and I appreciate your reassurance. Still, I've been kind and patient and respectful and nice to her, I promise — despite what she's been to me.

Sorry if my thoughts are scattered I'm not going to proofread this cause I'm in a hurry just let me know if I missed anything important 🙏 or said anything weird

If I can't get him an appointment here then I'll just try to pick him up from New Braunfels the day after his appointment in Bulverde

Thank you for reaching out, I hope everything else is going as well as possible!

I'm here,

Jonathan

P.S. since it sounds like you don't have your hands full enough I'm going to take a liberty here and submit a polite request to maybe write down a reminder on a sticky note or something to check the mileage on the truck (which I know is something you're already going to do but I'm innately annoying so I'm predisposed to pestering, I do it with respect though I swear)

Marysue Curtis

I have plenty of drugs and they gave me more painkillers yesterday. He takes four different pills every 12 hours including trazadone. Hes taking enough trazodone to knock out a larger dog that him and it only does a trick for a couple hours. Luckily he takes pills really well and no amount of pain and discomfort stops him from being a fatty so he’s eating very well. I give him a pack of soft food with his pills so you should re up on those before we do the switch. Alternating between one pill plus one bite of soft food etc.

I am willing to try the Corbin thing and it would be best if you meet him down the street somewhere so there’s minimal time with Corb. Any time Thursday, Friday works for me. Im sure I could do Saturday too.

I took him to Bulverde cause they didn’t charge me at all for the restitching and more meds and I think the removal is free too. I’m not sure how much it would be somewhere here but I’m cool with whatever you decide to do. Bulverde is an hour and 40 mins away if you go around 12 when there is no traffic.

Bare with me on the Mileage. I’ll try to get it today.

jonathan breaux

He's not a fatty 😭😭😭 he's just a baby 🥺

No worries about the mileage! Just wanted to make sure it didn't slip off your radar.

jesus christ you drove for four hours 💀

I will try to figure that out today.

Thank you for the clear instructions and suggestions.

Mmm if it turns out to be too tricky to do a handoff, when would you be planning to return him to NB?

Marysue Curtis

I’m not sure yet, maybe Friday or Saturday morning. Either way it would be best if we coordinate because Kuma CANNOT be around Bear like this. Kuma IS a baby. He is EXTREMELY attached rn. Like I cannot express enough how needy he is. I do not spend a moment where he is not laying on me. Chai snapped at him and he almost ripped her head off. Worse than I’ve ever seen. He didn’t hurt her or anything but he’s in pain and uncomfortable so if Bear comes at him it will get ugly and I know he won’t hold back for Bear. And he’s going to need someone to attach himself to while at your moms so I’m not sure how it would work for longer than a couple hours unless Sarah or Abby can commit to being with him 24/7. I can ask them.

I know you weren’t in a good headspace to take care of him but it would be good for him to stay with you longterm. He’s miserable at your moms house. I don’t even recognize him rn. If the situation becomes dire I can care for him but that has to be a last resort. He can be at your moms for a little if you need a couple days off but not long term. Maybe I can take the girls down there when he’s down there so he can have the girls support but he needs YOU. Your apartment is the place he’s genuinely the happiest.

I know you already know this but just to make sure

😥J

jonathan breaux

What a mess... I made a judgement call and did what I thought was best for both of us at the time. I'm so sorry buddy. 🥺🙇

I need to really think this through. I'll spare you the details, but there's a lot going on. But I also want him to be my top priority. I'm going into an appointment for about an hour right now but I'll be available the rest of the day after.

Let me know if I should expect your therapist to reach out to me for any reason, I give full consent and promise to cooperate for pretty much whatever.

I'll reach back out with whatever updates I can figure out later today whether you respond to this or not, just so you know I'm not brushing this off.

Thank you again.

jonathan breaux

Okay, I think the best available option is for me to accept custody this weekend and just take the stitches out myself when it's time. Enlisting Corbin might not work out but if there's any time at all on Sunday (which, it sounds like you're planning on a full day so my expectations are non-existent) that you could do, then I should be able to have another friend accept him from you and bring him right to me outside the gate. If Sunday is a complete non-starter then maybe on Saturday you can just like... set him loose while I yell his name from the other side of the fence? Or if you have a kennel you could place him outside somewhere and I'll be on standby for the notification to go grab him?

What think??

Marysue Curtis

When you say yourself you mean a vet right?

As for the pick up, I’ll have to think on it. It depends how delicate he still is. I don’t want to risk him hurting himself. I’ll let you know as the weekend approaches. If you couldn’t do any other day, Saturday would be best for me.

jonathan breaux

I will try to find someone willing and able to help out before Sunday, but let's revisit this upon updates to his condition throughout the week as well.

I deeply, from the bottom of my heart truly appreciate your gentleness and patience for him during this time. He couldn't be in better hands.

Please let him know I'll see him soon and I miss him terribly, and I'm sorry I let bad things happen to him. I was scared. I love you buddy (that's for him please), be nice to the girls while you're in their home 🙏

jonathan breaux

Actually, sorry, can you see any way to make it happen tomorrow?

I understand if it's a bit too last minute.

I'm sureI can do sooner than this weekend if that's what your ideal situation is though.

Anyway, hope your day went well. Good night all

Marysue Curtis

:( I haven’t emotionally prepared to let him go tomorrow. But if it’s the day that works best for you then that’s fine. Would your friend come get him? Or would I drive him to NB? I’m a little confused

🫂J

jonathan breaux

No :) let's just revisit this tomorrow so we can both prepare emotionally to trade custody :'-)

But I can take him as soon as you're ready. Just let me know🎶

jonathan breaux

Wait lol you drove to Bulverde and back because they weren't going to charge you but how much did you spend on gas?

It's a beautiful morning! I hope you have a great day. If you would kindly send your next message with a high priority tag I should be able to get notifications now instead of checking periodically.

Be kind to yourself today

jonathan breaux

Hi! Sorry to send you three messages in a row, there's no urgency or anything behind it and I wouldn't expect it to happen again, it's not serious. Also don't worry about the amount of text here, this isn't a rant or a big emotional thing I promise lol.

I just wanted to gently and respectfully, with no expectations behind it, throw out another crazy offer that I completely understand you not having any interest in. But just in case you're feeling whimsical, I hope you don't mind me reaching out to let you know it's on the table.

But I'm about to leave work for the day and if you happen to be tired of... this, I guess, I wanted to let you know that I'm open to going to a coffee shop or something instead of going straight home and just making myself available to be seen by you, and depending on how that makes you feel, just being open to letting that go wherever it may. I wouldn't have any expectations or be upset or anything if you showed up and changed your mind and left, or if you agreed for me to go wait somewhere and then you just decided not to come. Or if you wanted to try it but wanted me to promise not to speak or something. I don't mind going and waiting and then leaving without seeing you. Like, I have plenty to keep me occupied and I won't blame you for processing your thoughts and feelings however you need to do that. But I know that if you did decide to just rip off the band-aid and meet with me, I'm in a place where there's nothing that could push me into creating an unsafe situation for either of us. I also understand that you have your own private battles going on and they're not all about me, and that you also don't necessarily have any reason to believe that I'm telling the truth from your own perspective, and that's totally fine. But I'm not trying to do anything in particular or talk about anything, I don't have any agenda. I just miss my friend and want it to be known that I'm ready and open to seeing her, in any capacity, whenever she's ready to be seen. Even if she doesn't consider me her friend, or doesn't consider herself my friend. I'm not trying to push anything. But it would also be convenient to talk about the dogs and stuff without relying on sporadic emails if you happened to be open to doing that, but there's also no pressure there either.

Just saying, if you feel like talking a leap of faith, I'll wait a little while to hear from you. And if you don't, there's no need or expectation for a big long explanation or anything, I'm going to be the same, chill, reasonable person that I've been and nothing will change, I promise.

Still though, it would be great to catch up with you! Or even just to see you quietly for a minute and go back to our separate bubbles! Let me know within an hour or so if you're interested or not, if you're able to.

No worries, I'll be here :)

Cheers~

Marysue Curtis

No thank you.

Kuma cannot be left alone and should not be anywhere that would stress him out. Separate from that, I think the idea of hanging out somewhere together is extremely premature.

Hope you have a nice rest of your day though.

jonathan breaux

I understand. Thank you for the well wishes.

I hope you don't mind if I ask, did you talk to your therapist about the prospect of mediation?

Marysue Curtis

Jonathan I’m starting to feel uneasy again. We are trying to coordinate a drop off where we don’t have to see each other so I can continue to feel comfortable in my boundaries which you say you understand but yet you think I’m going feel comfortable going to get coffee together?

You see how that can make me feel like something has been lost in translation?

I know you say you are in a better place mentally and I want to believe you but things like this make me feel like if I give an inch you’ll take a mile and those boundaries will no longer be respected.

I know you really want to do this mediated separation counseling and I am trying to accommodate you but I hope you understand why I am hesitant.

That said, I don’t need you to try to convince me to do the mediation. I already understand what it would be. I’m just telling you these things so there isn’t more misunderstandings and you get an idea of where I’m at.

I hope if you were craving coffee you still got it and you’re having a good night.

Also, I don’t think I have the option to send e-mail high priority through email

jonathan breaux

Hey, thank you for the update. I understand where you're coming from, and it's completely valid. I know you don't need me to validate you, I'm just letting you know that I don't need extra convincing or punishment, I will listen to you when you give gentle corrections while I try to learn how to navigate your turbulent waters. I'm doing my best, but this form of communication is, please understand, frustratingly limited in its ability to replicate... uhh, vibes, I guess. You know?

I don't apologize for making an offer that was very clearly communicated to be declinable. And no, I didn't think that you would feel comfortable going to get coffee together. I didn't think that I would either. But I thought it was worth letting you know that I was open to being uncomfortable with you, together. Platonically. Literally platonically.

I am, however, sorry for not understanding that the offer itself was something that would make you uncomfortable. That was genuinely not something that I considered and I really should have, but that's hindsight.

I think that, if you ever get to a place where you are comfortable with me presenting those kinds of ideas, you will communicate that to me very clearly. And going forward from here I will understand and respect the shape and extent of this boundary with my entire heart. Forgive me if you will, as I forgive you for assuming, or at least choosing to imagine, the worst of me.

I'm tired, my friend. I'm not putting up a fight, I hope you read this letter with as much gentleness and platonic love as I put into it, but if you did not, I hope you will at least accept my word that that's how it was written.

I look forward to the day our orbits line up again, but believe me that I have no intention of spoiling the moment by trying to force it early. If we were to meet for coffee tomorrow, awesome. I'm terrified. I'm still gonna go. If we meet for coffee when you're the mother, I haven't looked forward to a day more in my entire life, and if we meet for coffee when you're the crone, I think we will both laugh insanely in our old age, as if we spent lifetimes and worlds apart before realizing that there was never a right time, and never a wrong time.

Please forgive me my poetics, for I am a man who does love the sound of his own voice. And thank you for reading my rambling. I hope you take it kindly. I don't have any expectations, but what's life without hope, or curiosity? I don't say these things to try to convince you to think like I am thinking. I only say them to try to paint a more clear picture of what I am thinking, but sometimes I choose the pigments poorly. Disagreement and misunderstanding are too close to each other for anyone's own good.

Sorry, sorry. That wasn't a rant though, just a ramble. Right? Wait did you read all that? Is this the first part you're reading?

Okay, this was too long, sorry. I feel like if I delete it though then that's like lying and I don't like that so ehhhh here you go little bedtime story hope you enjoyed please give all the dogs my love and don't tell them mean things about me

Cheers~🎶

Jonathan

Marysue Curtis

Thank you for understanding. In the spirit of peace I will share the following updates with you.

Kuma had a rough morning but he had a positive change around 1pm today were he walked around normally without scooting. He was able to get excited for whipped cream treats without his cone and actually ate all his food including two servings of kibble (where he previously would only eat hand fed soft food in his cone)

He’s gotten needier again as the evening is setting in but regardless, there was improvement! He seems uncomfortable but I don’t know if he’s in pain or he has an upset stomach from all the meds. He won’t tell me.

He also stinks and since I can’t bathe him I wiped him down with doggy wipes and now he smells like pee and coconut.

There was a fire in the woods adjacent to my apartments so I went to investigate, get Kuma some fresh air and get you the mileage.

The truck has 125395 miles.

jonathan breaux

Thank you so much for that update! I've had a bit of a rough day and have been a little uneasy on top of that, but your tone was very comforting and my heart is filled to hear about the love and attention Baby Kuma is getting. Everyone gets a little stinky sometimes, I'm sure he appreciates the spongebath as much as you girls appreciate the reduction of his odour 🙏

Thank you as well for getting back to me with that mileage 🎶

I hope you and all our familiars are having as good of a day as any of us could hope for.

Let me know if you need anything. I can always send soup or puppy supplies or just wholesome thoughts and energy 🙇‍♂️

Best,

jonathan breaux

Good morning🎵

Wanted to let you know that I spoke with Banfield here down the block and they're estimating no cost to do a full exam and suture removal, or a small fee if the doctor determines Kuma needs bandaging or some other simple procedure for continued recovery.

I scheduled him for a drop off at 0815 on 09/25 but I think that might be the previous expected date before he tore those stitches, let me know if I need to reschedule for a later date. Or, if you take him to New Braunfels, either of us can let my mother know that he doesn't need to go to Bulverde.

Hope you have a really great day and a fun weekend ahead of you

Cheers~

PS: gentle feedback about my previous message is welcome, if you're open to giving any. I'm extremely wary of making you uncomfortable, so if I need to take a step further back, I can sterilize my tone no problem. Just remember that even with more sterile words, I'm still me on the other side of the screen. I promise, on god fr, that I only reach out to you from a place of peace, kindness, gentleness, no matter what comes up.

There is no part of me hoping for more than that from you; my honest ultimate goal is for us to be able to call each other friends at the end of this conflict.

And if you don't want that right now, then I will still enjoy an outcome that allows us to be, like, just coworkers. To not be afraid of each other, to not feel unsafe thinking about each other, but not necessarily being a core part of each other's lives beyond occasional friendly communications.

And if you also come to not want that, then I will accept gentle permanent closure of our story when we have written a safe, healthy, mutually agreed and mutually understood farewell.

I can't convince you that you're safe, because I don't understand what you fear. So I will just do my best to follow your instructions and be completely clear and open while doing so.

PSS: I did it again, I wrote too much when much less would have been sufficient. Please forgive me my verbose nature.

PSSS: I also know that's not how post scripts work but I agree that it feels better this way

PSSSS: I think Kiana and Jah have been on a really awkward date vacation in Salem this last week and I have nobody to speculate with so just wanted you to know

PSSSSS: I hope the fire was cool

Marysue Curtis

That is great news! And that appointment time and date is good too. That’s when he has his apportionment in Bulverde with I can tell your mom to cancel.

I didn’t have any problems with your tone, no.

Ps: The fire was super lame

😊J

jonathan breaux

Hey, sorry to bother you but you did let your mother know why I stopped reaching out for the time being, of course, right? We called each other friend :c I don't want her thinking I just runnoft.

Thank you for your time!

Cheers~

Jonathan

Marysue Curtis

Yes, she is aware. Also, what will we being doing about Kuma? As much as it pains me to not have him around anymore, I can’t work from home another week.

Should I drive to NB tomorrow?

jonathan breaux

Okay, I really appreciate that🎵

As for Kuma, dude honestly idk. The only person I have available to act as an intermediary just dumped me for a guy who offered to take her to Italy so I guess you can take him to NB and I'll go collect him as soon as I can.

Unless you want to do something weird like shove him out the door while I wait down the hallway so you don't have to see me, cause I can do that right now if you want to.

I'm so annoyed that I can't just talk to you like a friend, sorry if my tone is a bit short right now. You better be having a good night *threat* because there's a lot of life to be lived right now.

Bye

Marysue Curtis

Well when would you be able to go to NB then? I think it will stress him out if I just leave him somewhere that he doesn’t recognize.

jonathan breaux

I'll go when you tell me to 🎶

Marysue Curtis

Hey! Sorry for the late update but do you think you could go get him from NB today? I’ll probably be heading there in an hour. You can just coordinate with your mom when you wanna get him. I talked to her and he was pretty confident they would be able to keep him there safety so it’s up to you.

jonathan breaux

If I get him today he'll have to start staying alone at my apartment tomorrow, do you think he's better off here or there while he still has stitches?

Marysue Curtis

You don’t think your manager would let you work from home? I think he should not be left alone especially so soon after you just got him back

jonathan breaux

I have a lot going on for end of Q3 at work, but even if I could do that from home I still have to leave the house for three to four hours a day every weekday for mandatory routine.

I wrote this question without the big explanation originally but I thought about it and I think it has the potential to make you uneasy so I want to be clear that I know what I'm asking and I'm genuinely okay with any answer or non answer you choose to give according to your level of comfort, but I'm still going to ask because it would be helpful to consider while I'm trying to figure out how to keep him while he has his stitches. But do you think he would be okay being alone with a stranger for any period of time right now? Or is he still super needy?

Also something about the way you and my mother describe his behavior makes me think he's not actually as needy as you see him being, I think he just really likes/misses you and he is probably a little scared of the girls/feels weird about them still being together without him.

I need him back, but I need him safe and healthy and comfortable moreso. I want to get him at the earliest possible time that you believe he can handle being alone here for four to eight hours a day.

Are you still using the app? I can plug the cameras in *being careful to not appear in frame* when I leave so you can keep tabs on him. I configured the email priority thing correctly so now my ringer scares the shit out of me every time you send a message even if I'm on dnd. It's the cyberpunk notification sound lol

Marysue Curtis

I’m not really sure what you mean by that but I trust your judgment so I’ll leave it up to you. I guess at this point he might do fine alone if he’s doped up. He was always very calm at your apartment. I would say for added precautions just when you are gone you can have his tail bandaged or have him wear a human diaper. The biggest issue is him getting stressed and scooting and no one being home to stop it. He was very frantic yesterday and rubbed him tail against the couch and he freaked and I think it’s been hurting since then. It weeped just everrrr so slightly so anything you can do to keep him from hurting his tail would be great.

We can give it a try and if it flat out doesn’t work I can just take him back

jonathan breaux

I'm not sure what you're referring to when you say you're not really sure what I mean.

What are we giving a try?

jonathan breaux

Wait YOU TRUST MY JUDGEMENT 🤩 ONES IN CHAT FOR MUTUAL RESPECT HELL YEAH BRO LFG

Marysue Curtis

Idk what to do. I want to do what would keep him

safest but I also want him to start getting used to his life with you to not destabilize him further. Where do you think he will be safest? If he stays with me I’ll have to leave him alone tonight, then again tomorrow morning and from 7:30-5 Monday through Wednesday. Regardless he will have to be alone. I can cancel my plans but maybe I shouldn’t baby him so much cause that might cause some issues too.

I can take him to your moms for just the weekend and pick him up on Monday. I was really hoping I could get some time without him cause the girls need walks and baths and I have over all been neglecting them cause Kuma requires so much attention and I know that are getting super stir crazy and bored and needy cause they aren’t getting any stimulation.

Or you can pick him up from

NB and have him with you and can decide if you think it’s going well or not with your schedule and we can go from there?

Thoughts? I need you to ultimately make a call on this.

jonathan breaux

Absolutely no need to cancel your plans. And you have already done so much, you and the girls both need time without big Stinko.

Okay, all things considered, let's do this. Please take him to NB, and I will see how he does there tomorrow. If it's bad I'll pick him up ASAP. If he's okay enough to wait until Wednesday, then I'll pick him up and he can stay with me from then on.

I may need you to keep an eye on him with the camera plan for his first time without me, just so you can yell at him or email me that he needs my attention, but I also may not need that, we'll have to reevaluate if the time comes.

Thank you for all your help and communication here.

Drive safe, stay hydrated (clean your canteen)

Marysue Curtis

Okay let’s do that. I will suggest that you take over the camera for now. The girls are pretty consistent and I don’t feel like I need to watch them when I’m gone. His situation is more important so just redownload the app for now please. I’ll keep an eye on him as well

jonathan breaux

Okie, I will let you know when I've picked him up and when I've downloaded the app.

🙇‍♂️🫰

jonathan breaux

Oh also, do you still use your hismile toothbrush? Where do you get replacement heads?

Marysue Curtis

Ugh I feel terrible 😭 I don’t want him to think he did something wrong so I sent him back.

I don’t mind cancelling tonight but I can’t cancel tomorrow so if he can’t handle just one night then I can also go get him.

It looks like cvs has them

jonathan breaux

Girl "it looks like cvs has them" I'm certain that means you're no longer using that toothbrush because of course you wouldn't still be using the same head that it came with 🤨

And yeah, I'm familiar with this heartache 😔 I just want him to be back with me and also never have to be left alone ever.

I don't think he will think you're sending him away as a punishment. He knows we leave and we come back. He knows he will see you again and it will be good.

And the girls will probably be happy to have you back to themselves.

jonathan breaux

Also, none of my business so I won't take it poorly if you choose to not answer, but I would appreciate an update on your general disposition. I've been getting off-putting vibes so I'm preparing to take a voluntary step back, but I don't want to disrupt what I percieve to be generally decent progress based on vibes alone.

Hope you're well,

Jonathan